We are getting lots of email and for that we thank you! You can see what our patrons have to say on the Feedback page.
Dance Update 8/28/08
YEA! Summer’s over. We may be in a minority but fall brings harvest and the start of another dance season, it’s a good time on the farm. It’s been a grand summer but we are excited to see all the dancers again and our friends in the bands. Avalanche will get us started off right on Sept. 5. This six piece Country band has been our crowd’s favorite for years because of their talent and ability to have fun with people so we expect a great turnout. If you can get here before 9:30 be sure to ask for the “early bird discount” and we will reduce admission to $5, remember you must ask to receive it. We have ordered a new stock of Johnson’s Barn T-shirts and will continue the tradition of giving away three at every dance. The first three people to come up to Becky at the lunch counter and say “I love this Barn” will be rewarded with a complimentary T-shirt. Get here early; get a good table, and maybe a prize. Word of mouth advertising is the most effective so those of you who have been here be sure to tell your friends to try hayloft dancing, we need “Barn Virgins” to replace those who have moved or gotten old and retired from dancing. A schedule change became necessary because Avalanche’s lead guitar player, Jim, has a busy life so we have had to switch Avalanche’s November dance to Nov. 21st. We will try to change all the posters but we may miss some so please help get the word out to help avoid confusion, a life style choice for some of us. A cop pulls a woman over and says, “Let me see your driver’s license, lady.” The woman replies, “I wish you people would get it together. One day you take away my license and the next day you ask me to show it.” See Ya, Brian and Becky Johnson
Dance Update 5/11/08
What a finish, we had a great crowd to finish up spring 2008 dances. Thanks to Avalanche for getting you here and to all you patrons for making the drive out to the country. Now we are in a farming frenzy trying to get the crop seeded. We do have one more dance coming up, Sat. May 17 when the Red River Singles return. They rent the Barn and put on their own dance, it’s 21 and over only and for single people. Check it out if you are interested. Avalanche is a Pistol Pete’s this weekend, May 15 thru the 17. There will be a “flash from the past” with the one time return of Todd Carlson on drums. KC is busy this weekend running in Fargo’s marathon and didn’t think she could handle playing into the wee hours after running. Go out to West Fargo and cheer Todd on. He is busy with work, family, and hunting so while his day’s are full he still misses the fun of being part of Avalanche and is looking forward to one more gig. We start up dances this fall on Sept. 5th with Avalanche. Keep us in mind over the summer and come back this fall. If Becky or I see anyone wearing a Barn t-shirt at some of the musical events in the area over the summer we will give you a couple of free dance passes for this fall. If we miss you and you see us be sure to ask for them. Enjoy the summer and we look forward to seeing you this fall. A Christian is a man who feels Repentance on a Sunday For what he did on Saturday and is going to do on Monday. See Ya, Brian and Becky J
Dance Update 4/15/08
The few ,the proud, and the loyal showed up for Silverado’s return to the Barn. We enjoyed a great night of music and after dance skating. Dance regular Cindy wowed the last men standing by doing the splits on roller blades (on purpose) and Casey Z made his first ever trips around the dance floor on roller skates. You never know what you miss if you go home early. Those of you that weren’t here should make an effort to go see Silverado and find out how good they are.
And then there was one, dance that is. Avalanche will finish up our spring shows on May 2. They brought out hordes of fans in April so we expect a good crowd again, they are definitely the most popular band we have here. Be sure to get here early, it may be one of those busy nights. We will have the 2008 fall schedule ready to hand out May 2, pick one up and set up your dance card. The first three people that can tell Becky which Avalanche member is Brad Wilson will win a free t-shirt. This weeks funny was submitted by Ryan Moss, one of our brave service men in Iraq. Here’s a sticky situation: What would you do? You are driving in a car at a constant speed. On your left side is a “drop off” (The ground is 18-20 inches below the level you are traveling on), and on your right side is a fire engine traveling at the same speed as you. In front of you is a galloping horse which is the same size as your car and you cannot overtake it. Behind you is a galloping zebra. Both the horse and zebra are also traveling at the same speed as you. What must you do to safely get out of this highly dangerous situation? The answer is
GET YOUR DRUNK ASS OFF THE MERRY-GO-ROUND!!!! See Ya, Brian and Becky J
Dance Update, 4/07/08
Saturdays are good. We had to postpone Avalanche one day because Jim had a chance to vacation in Puerto Rico and the day delay brought out our best crowd of 2008. We usually have our dances on Friday but the response this dance brought will make us consider some Saturdays in the fall. If you have an opinion please e-mail us and let us know. We will be booking for this fall soon so decision time is at hand. Give us some feedback on this or any subject. Other than being a Saturday it was a typical Avalanche show, outstanding music and an enthusiastic crowd. If anyone is wondering on the effectiveness of Barcardi O and Red Bull I can affirm it will lead to a late night corrective strike to the cowboy hat from Becky. We love seeing all the “Barn virgins” (new people) that showed up. We saw a lot of familiar faces also: we had a good contingent from the Grygla area, Dustin’s crew (Barn Bash bunch), Jason plus Greg and company from Ada, Brian’s group of sixteen from Bismarck, Yaz and a Valley City group, Wahpeton, Fargo, Grand Forks, Linton (the apple pie gang), and many other towns. We try to get the word out but we know that “word of mouth” from you is what works best, thanks for telling your friends and spreading the joys of Barn dancing. When you’re home tell some older people about this “new place” you go to, you might get a smile and be informed that this is the kind of thing people have loved for decades. Times change but people really don’t; pretty girls, handsome guys, and dancing have drawn fun lovers for generations. Lost and found news: we found a camera after the dance so if you know someone who lost one out here tell them to get in touch.
Fiddler withdrawal is a major cause of depression in this area. Silverado is coming Friday April 11 and Brian Aamold is the cure! Silverado is a five piece Country band that people have been asking for. The band, as a whole, provides great music but if fiddling is your favorite then your prayers will be answered when Brian wields his bow. We hope you will come out and give these guys a crowd to work with, you will be rewarded. We are offering a $2 discount coupon to encourage attendance so be sure to go to the schedule page and print it out. The first three people who come up to the lunch counter and tell Becky the bands name on April 11 will be rewarded with a free t-shirt. Henry Ford and his assembly line were well known for efficiency. Ford was once asked why he made a habit of visiting his executives when problems arose rather than calling them to his own office. “I go to them to save time,” explained Ford. “I’ve found that I can leave the other fellow’s office a lot quicker than I can get him to leave mine.” See Ya, Brian and Becky J
Dance Update, Mar. 31, 2008
Spring is here and so is the mud but it didn’t stop the Post Traumatic Funk Syndrome fans from flocking to the Barn. We had a great crowd, but only two cowboy hats were seen, to enjoy the horn rock delivered in style by the twelve members of the band. You would have to drive to the Cities or Chicago to hear a band like this but I don’t think you could improve on their ability anywhere.
SATURDAY, APRIL 5, Avalanche returns and will get us back to Country. Remember we have had to change the date from the one on our posters. We rarely have Saturday dances so maybe this will enable a few of you who have conflicts with Friday’s to get out and enjoy Avalanche at the Barn. There is an old lawyers axiom to never ask a question you don’t know the answer to. This is word for word testimony from an actual trial: Q. Meaning no disrespect, sir, but you’re 80 years old, wear glasses, and don’t see as well as you used to. So, tell me, just how far can you see? A: I can see the moon. How far is that? See Ya, Brian and Becky J
Dance Update 3/3/08
Hello dancers, thanks to all of you who came out to hear Avalanche Friday night SCHEDULE CHANGE!!!!! Avalanche will next be here April 5th on a SATURDAY night instead of Friday, April 4th as it is listed on our posters. They had a conflict and were forced to make this change. Please help us get the word out to everybody. Our next dance is March 28th when Post Traumatic-Funk Syndrome returns. This is a twelve piece classic rock horn band that will amaze you. There is no one like them in this area, you have to hear them to believe how good they sound. Some of the band members are music instructors, NDSU and Concordia with years of playing so get out here for a memorable evening of entertainment. We have a $2 discount coupon on our calendar page so print it out and save. We will give away three t-shirts again March 28th. The first three people to tell Becky the name of any of the band members will win, we have a link to their web-site so just do the research and be a winner. We only have four more dances this spring, don’t miss any. “Doctor, I don’t know what’s wrong with me, but I hurt all over. If I touch my shoulder here, it hurts, if I touch my shoulder here, it hurts, and if I touch my head here, it hurts, and if I touch my foot here, it hurts.” “ I believe you’ve broken your finger.” See Ya, Brian and Becky J
Dance Update 2/18/08
Identity 5 gave us another good show Friday but attendance was sparse. The crowd was enthusiastic and stayed until the end. A couple of cowgirls took advantage of the ample floor space to work on their cartwheels and when things didn’t work out their floor spins. And then there were five, dances that is, before our summer siesta. Avalanche will get us over the halfway hump Feb. 29 when they return to the Barn. Becky and I got to take in a couple of their sets at Pistol Pete’s Valentine’s Day, yes we still date after 25 years It’s just a pleasure to sit and listen to them play when we are off duty. During their break we compared notes on the Birthday night (Feb.1) show. I learned to appreciate Crown Royal thanks to the generosity of the band. Brad W. was into the spirit of celebration that night, he helped with the Crown sampling, in fact he was such good help that Jim and Brad got two drinks one break because while I was getting the coke after pouring the Crown he decided that I would not return and told Jim we’ll have to drink these straight up Brian is never coming back. Later in the night the spirit of giving overtook him when one of the attractive stage dancers complimented him on his cowboy hat he immediately responded with “then you should wear it home, it’s yours.” Royal Crown influence or coincidence, you decide. In the morning he realized it was an expensive choice when sticker shock at the cowboy store set in. Compliment him on his new hat the next time you see him. One man remarked to his buddy, Nice earring. How long have been wearing an earring? Second Man: Ever since my wife found it in the car. See Ya, Brian and Becky J
Dance Update 2/11/08
Hello again! We’ve had some server problems the last few weeks but are up and running again. If you have sent us an e-mail in the last few weeks and haven’t received an answer please send it again because while we were down e-mails couldn’t get through. We appreciate your interest and want to respond. “Birthday Night” or Feb. 1 was a lot of fun thanks to Avalanche and all the people that showed up. There were at least five separate birthdays celebrated that night and I think Avalanche got everybody on stage except for Adra, she’s shy. Feb. will be a good dance month, book ended by Avalanche on the first and 29th(you only get to celebrate leap year every four years so anybody with a birthday that night gets in free and gets a free Barn t-shirt) and with Identity 5 handling the middle on the 15th. We are offering a $2 discount coupon on the 15th so be sure to go to the calendar page and print it out. We would love to see a big crowd for Identity 5, they’re so good that if you hear them once you will be hooked, so we are offering a special group discount of half price tickets for all groups of six or more. If you are interested e-mail or call us and get your group in for half price. We can host a pre-party on dance nights so if you want to have one get in touch with us and line it up. Feb. 15th is the day after Valentine’s Day so the first three people to tell Becky what they did to celebrate it or why not will receive a free Barn shirt. If any of you are interested in plays Theatre B in Fargo is starting a new play “Fat Pig” on Valentines Day. Becky and I haven’t missed one of their performances in the past three years. They are the best in this area, get out and enjoy them, “they’re greatttttttt!. Two jokes this week in honor of the holiday. #1 “Why are married women heavier then single women? Single women come home, see what’s in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what’s in bed, and go to the fridge. #2 A woman was going through her husband’s desk drawer and discovered three soybeans in an envelope containing thirty dollars in cash. So she asked him about it. The husband answered “Well, I have to confess. Over the years, I haven’t been completely faithful to you. But every time I cheated, I put a soybean in the drawer to remind myself.” “So where did the thirty dollars come from?” she asked. Well, when soybeans hit ten dollars a bushel, I decided to sell.” See Ya, Brian and Becky J
Dance Update, Jan. 17, 08
It’s hard to feel guilty for missing Avalanche’s first show at the Barn in 2008 when you’re cruising the Caribbean but we did miss being there, although a few rum cocktails helped easy the pain. We were back Sunday to sub-zero temps and reality. Eric and Adra by all reports handled their first dance well so the Barn tradition has moved on to its third generation. The question “Where in the world is Waldo” was answered when there was a sighting at the Jan 11 dance with his new bride Angela, too bad we missed them. We seem to lose our most dedicated fans when their search for a dance partner is successful. News from Iraqi came Jan. 16 when 1Lt. Ryan Moss announced the birth of his son, Jacob Ryan, congratulations Sarah and Ryan.
Jan.19 we will be hosting SnowJam, an all day and night event featuring snowmobiles. The fun starts at 9:00 AM and continues through the night with a dance featuring the popular Front Fenders. If you want more info on the event go to www.snowjam.org it will be fun, what better way to spend the coldest day of the winter is there then by embracing it and enjoying our weather. Avalanche is at Pistol’s this weekend so get out and delight in life on the Plains. We will welcome them back to the Barn Feb. 1 which is the 56th anniversary of the day the Barn was moved here. I missed it because that was the day I was born so I was stuck in Fargo with my Mom. Working a dance featuring Avalanche is about the best way I can think of to spend my birthday, come out and celebrate with me. I just hope Brad W doesn’t try to embarrass me, fat chance of that though. “Why does Piglet smell so bad?” He always plays with Pooh! See Ya, Brian and Becky J
Dance Update, 12/17/07
Another dance season is behind us but we are raring to get started on 2008, our 56th year hosting public dances. Identity 5 finished up the year with a great show. The numbers were down but those here were treated to a superb evening and the band really got those in attendance into the act. The stage was full with audience participants and everyone was excited to have a chance at a free guitar, donated by Kelly Cordahl of Identity 5. The lucky winner was Lee Hintz of Fargo. He had us all autograph it to add to the memories. Identity 5 will be back on Feb. 15 and we hope more of you get out to see them, it will be worth the effort, they play a real upbeat blend of Country and Rock that I know many of you would enjoy. We will get the New Year started right with your favorite band, Avalanche on Jan. 11. They packed the place last time and we expect even more so please get here early so you will not run the risk of being out in the cold because of a sell out. If you must be late you can purchase tickets in advance to ensure admittance, check out our web-site for how to get them. Becky and I will be on vacation to celebrate our 25th year of wedded bliss so the third generation of Johnson’s, Eric and Adra are in charge. The first three people who go to the lunch counter and say “Good luck on your first night” will be rewarded with their choice of our T-shirts. We all know the dangers of drunk driving but if you want insight on the dangers of pedestrian travel quiz Avalanche’s Brad Wilson, he was advised by his doctor to convalesce Saturday night but he is a gamer and showed up for his gig at Pistol Pete’s. All his bumps and bruises from motorcycle racing must have toughed him up. We were there for the last two sets and can vouch for him, he didn’t miss a beat and the band was so much fun Becky and I even danced the night away. We also got to catch Betty Does at Integrity Windows Christmas party Saturday and heard ex-Avalanche member Liz Eye. She did a great job and it was fun to see her perform again. Rumor has it she is engaged, good luck Liz. Jan 19 we are renting the Barn to the local snowmobile club. They are planning a full day with a snowmobile run, sled vendors and company reps, food, drawings, and a dance featuring Front Fenders, if you like sledding it is an event you should attend. Our full schedule for 2008 through May is up on our schedule page so be sure to check it out and pencil in a few dance nights on your calendar. “What do you call a guitarist without a girlfriend.” Homeless!!! Definition of an optimist, “An accordion player with a pager.” See Ya, Brian and Becky J
Dance Update 12/9/07
Cold night, hot dance. Sub-zero temps seem to bring us our best crowds and Avalanche’s show Friday was no exception. We started the night early when Kevin and Lynn showed up shortly after dinner Friday to unload all the equipment so it would have a chance to thaw out. Later while the band was getting organized I took time to spin around the dance floor on roller-skates just to show Brad Wilson that old people have moves too. The line at the door started a little after nine and was a steady stream until the Barn was at near capacity. Barn Virgins (first timers) were a big portion of the crowd and we thank you regulars for recommending the Barn to your friends. We advertise but also realize that word of mouth is the best way to convince new people to make the trip to Arthur. Irish lasses, Wishek Germans, Grygla regulars, Becky’s co-workers from Integrity, birthday girls like Mel F. and people from all points of the compass help make the Barn an eclectic fun fest. Avalanche knows how to let the crowd get involved which adds to the intensity. From “scream for me Johnson’s Barn” to the fifteen or so volunteer dancers on stage at one time this band knows how to get everybody into the act but I still can’t figure out how they play their instruments with all those people gyrating around them. All in all it was a great night, Becky and I have one of the best jobs around and it’s because of the people in the bands and the crowd, we have a blast. December 14 the fun continues when Identity 5 returns. This talented five piece band is excited to play for the Barn crew and to help get you in the mood they are making this a special weekend. It’s going to be a beach party on the prairie. They are giving away beach balls and leis on a first come basis but the best deal is a free drawing for a brand new guitar. Yes, I said free guitar, all you have to do is sign up and you might take home the prize. Most people are happy if they can find a dance partner so this is an offer you need take advantage of and all you have to do is be here. If you really get in the spirit wear a bathing suit and get in free or if you are modest or thin blooded go to our schedule page and print a coupon for $2 discount on admission. The first three people to come up to Becky at the lunch counter Friday and say “All I want for Christmas is a Johnson’s Barn T-shirt “ will have their wish fulfilled and receive their choice of our shirts. We will have our new schedule for 2008 ready to pass out at Identity 5’s show so be sure to pick one (or more) up and get ready for the 56th year of dancing at the Barn. North Dakota’s own Teddy Roosevelt is the source of this week’s quote. During his time as a rancher, Roosevelt and one of his cowpunchers, riding over the range, lassoed a maverick, a two year old steer that had never been branded. They lit a fire then and there and prepared the branding irons. The part of the range they were on was claimed by Gregor Lang, one of Roosevelt’s neighbors. According to the rule among cattlemen the steer therefore belonged to Lang, having been found on his land. As the cowboy applied the brand, Roosevelt said, “Wait, it should be Lang’s brand, a thistle.” “That’s all right, boss,” said the cowboy, continuing to apply the brand. “But you’re putting on my brand.” That’s right,” said the man, “I always put on the boss’s brand.” “Drop that iron,” said Roosevelt, “and get back to the ranch and get out. I don’t need you anymore.” The cowboy protested, but Roosevelt was adamant. “A man who will steal for me will steal from me,” he declared. So the cowboy went, and the story spread all over the Badlands. See Ya, Brian and Becky J
Dance Update, 11/18/07
Few but fun describes our crowd for 24/Seven. It wasn’t that crowded but we still had table dancers and loud cheering for the band. The last vehicle to leave that night had two unusual hitchhikers that made feathers fly all the way home to Grandin. If you want to hear the whole story you’ll have to stop in the Grandin saloon and ask the pretty bartender. If you get a chance, go to one of 24/Seven’s shows, you will be impressed. Avalanche will be back Dec. 7 followed by Identity 5 Dec. 14, the last show for 2007, time flies when you’re having fun and this year went by fast. We will try to have our spring schedule ready to hand out at the next dance so you can plan your dance card. If anybody out there has some size 12 or13 roller skates for sale please bring them to the barn Dec. 7 so we could buy them. It would enable us to make a special boy’s Xmas wish come true. The early bird gets more then a worm. Our dance floor is always least crowded during the first set so why not be here in time to take advantage. If you ask for the early bird discount before 9:15 you also save $2 on admission. Our T-shirt give away question for Dec. 7 is why is this day important? We will accept two different answers (1) this is the day the Japanese attacked Pearl Harbor or (2) this is Mel Fosse’s birthday. The first three to tell Becky one of the answers will receive a free Johnson’s Barn T-shirt. If any of you are interested in plays think about attending Theatre B’s “A Tuna Christmas”. Their theater is one block east of the Mexican Village on Main Ave. in Fargo and will run the next five weeks. Becky and I have seen all their shows over the last few years and have loved every single one. The comedies are our favorites so we are especially eager to see “A Tuna Christmas”. Their web-site is theatreb.org. The quote this week is from Groucho Marx. During his stint as comedian in a show called “You Bet Your Life,” Groucho interviewed a Mrs. Story, who had given birth to twenty-two children. “I love my husband,” Mrs. Story said enthusiastically. “I like my cigar, too,” said Groucho, “but I take it out once in a while.” See Ya, Brian and Becky J
Dance Update, Nov. 9, 07
Avalanche continues to amaze us with new skills. At the end of the night we eat burgers and visit with the band. A friend of ours, Shari Lynn, from Grandin was roller skating at 2:30 in the morning prompting KC, Brad, and Jim to ask, “Do you have skates in our size“. As luck would have it we were able to outfit KC and Jim and were impressed by their spin moves and even a little couple skating to complete their repertoire. Skills learned in your youth stick with you. Brad Wilson is a double XL man in more them one way but we were able to come up with some roller blades that he was able to squeeze into. Brad’s youth must have been a little farther in the past and while he was able to maintain his balance and stayed off the floor the best term to describe his skating style that comes to mind is “a cow on ice”. Check out the last picture on the “Wall of Fame” photo page from Nov. 2 and let us know if you agree. They will return Dec. 7. Our next dance is Nov 16 when 24/Seven returns. We will offer a coupon again to give you $2 off admission. Go to the schedule page and print it off. A special incentive to get you out early is anyone here before 9:15 and asks for the “early bird” special can get in for only $1. That’s right get here early and all it will cost you is $1. We like this band and want to do what ever it takes to get you out to enjoy their music. The first three people to go to the lunch counter Nov 16 and tell Becky what hunting season is going on will receive a free Johnson’s Barn T-shirt. Dec. 14th Identity 5 is planning a party. They want to make it a special night so they are donating a brand new quitar for a drawing. The lucky person chosen gets a brand new quitar free of charge. They have declared it a beach party night and anyone who wears a swim suit will get in gratis and also free leis and beach balls will go on a first come basis. It will also be a coupon night so have fun at a discount. If a Palestinian and a Minnesotan get married, what do they call their child? Yasir Yabetcha. See Ya, Brian and Becky J
Dance Update, 10/24/07
We were so lonely we coulda cried! The small turnout had nothing to do with 24/Seven’s skills it just happened that they played the night North Dakota emptied out to go to the Cities and watch the mighty Gophers be humbled by the Bison. Anything that unites Sioux and NDSU fans is something special. The band will be back on Nov. 16 so get out here and support them, they are good. Speaking of good, Avalanche will be here Nov. 2 and thankfully NDSU has a home game. We need your boots to polish our hardwood, come out here and dance. Becky and I can’t wait that long so we’re planning a date night at the new Pistol Pete’s this weekend to celebrate the end of 2007 harvest. If we see anybody there with a Johnson’s Barn shirt we will give you a free Barn ticket. To get a free Barn t-shirt be one of the first three people to stop at our lunch counter Nov. 2 and say “I love Avalanche”. A Woman’s prayer: Dear Lord, I pray for wisdom, to understand a man; love, to forgive him; and patience, for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for strength I’ll just beat him to death. See Ya, Brian and Becky J
Dance Update, 10/10/07
October got off to a good start thanks to Avalanche providing the music and the crowd. NDSU homecoming kept a few in Fargo but we had a great bunch and even a few Alumni’s reliving their college days with a visit to the Barn. Avalanche keeps impressing us with their skills. You might think that to get their musical abilities they would have to specialize on playing their instruments, but you would be wrong. Well rounded musicians like these are also electronic technicians. They had some technical difficulties with their amps Friday but patched everything together and made it work. ND innovative abilities mean you handle things yourself and they did. Equipment problems did nothing to impinge on Lynne Krug’s debut with the band. She is the new female singer and boy did she deliver. Beauty and talent make her a welcome addition to the group. Her enthusiasm was contagious, it add added spark to all of us.
The Cass Count deputies had a sobriety check point in Arthur Friday night and only one person got a DUI. We have them provide security at the dances and they have always done a good job. We hope you all remember ND laws are enforced “way out in the country” and obey them. A ticket spoils the experience so avoid them.
24/Seven returns to the Barn Oct 19, get out and enjoy them. We are offering a $2 discount coupon that night so print it and save. If you are going to the rodeo at NDSU Oct 19 you will have a chance to get a free ticket. We sent them twenty passes that they will give away at the rodeo, you might get lucky. Speaking of getting lucky no one got the free t-shirt question last week, none of you must speak Euro(pee in) or you would know what a “loo” is. The question for this dance is “who is #1” you can answer either NDSU or UND because they are number 1 in the polls for football and hockey, makes you proud of our little recognized region. Be one of the first three to tell Becky the answer and get a free Barn t-shirt. Ole was stopped by a game warden in northern Minnesota leaving a lake well known for its walleye. He had two buckets of fish. Since it was during the spawning season, the game warden asked, “Do you have a license to catch those fish?” Ole replied, “No, sir! Dese here are my pet fish. Every night I take dese fish here down to da lake and let dem svim around for a while. Den I vhistle and dey yump back into deir buckets and I take dim home. “That’s a bunch of hooey,”said the game warden. “Fish can’t do that.” Ole said, “Vell, den, I’ll just show you.” Ole poured the fish into the lake and stood waiting. After several minutes, the game warden turned to Ole and said, “Well?” “Vell vhat?” responded Ole. “When are you going to call them back?” “Call who back?” asked Ole. “The fish!” “What fish?” See Ya, Brian and Becky J
Dance Update, Oct 1, 2007
We had fun with out you. Identity 5 had a small turnout but a big performance last Friday. Those of us here were treated to a high energy Country-Rock mix. They will be back in December so plan on catching their show, you won’t be sorry.
Avalanche graces our stage again Friday, Oct. 5 and by the crowd that showed up last time plan on getting here early or risk being left out in the cold if we sell out. Be an “early bird” and save. No one got the t-shirt question last dance so we will ask again, “What is a Loo” Irish lasses know and so might you, we have two, one for “pointers” and one for “setters”. The first three people to tell Becky, she’s at the lunch counter, the answer will receive their choice of our t-shirts gratis. If you have any questions or comments or just like to visit please e-mail us. We love hearing from our patrons and appreciate any insights you may share with us. One thing we learned lately is that a diesel engine still runs after a rod goes through the engine block. I heard a funny, not ha-ha, noise the other day and while climbing down the combine steps; crash, bang, oil, and smoke filled the air. After diagnosing engine failure I noticed that the damn thing was still running and had to climb up and shut it off. Later curiosity took a hold of me and I turned the key and it started up again. Wonders never cease, the estimate was $9000 and it will be as good as new.
The CIA, the FBI, and the NYPD are competing to see which organization is the greatest apprehender of criminals. A rabbit is released into a forest and each organization tries to bring the rabbit in. The CIA places animal informants throughout the forest and hidden microphones on the trees. And after three months, they conclude that rabbits do not exist. The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads, they burn the forest, killing everything in it. The NYPD goes in. Two hours later they come out leading a badly beaten bear by the ear. The bear is yelling: “Okay, okay, I’m a rabbit, I’m a rabbit.” See Ya, Brian and Becky J
Update, Sept. 17
Yea, Avalanche is back! And so were you, the Barn was nearly filled to capacity to welcome your favorite band back and by the deafing answer from the crowd to “make some noise Johnson’s Barn” it was a popular move. Fans from all over showed up but the long distance award goes to Lynn’s (Kevin’s bride, he was active over summer vacation) friend from Dublin. She thought the “loo” was an experience and left the baby pig tour holding her nose but was pleased with partying in a hayloft and is one of the newest Avalanche devotees. Downstairs was busy during the dance, three litters (if you’re a city dweller that means three pig families) entered the world Friday night and we feel it was the music making their little hooves move that initiated the births. Check out the pictures from the dances and you can see the new “hog wild” Avalanche fans. A word to the wise, if you think the little pigs are cute and the sows heavy and ugly just remember the moms were cute little babies a year ago but one time sex and months of over-eating led to the change. If you can’t wait until October 5 when Avalanche returns to the Barn check out the new Pistol Pete’s in West Fargo, Avalanche is scheduled to get them started out right.
We get a week off to rest up then “the beat goes on” when Identity 5 returns Sept 28th. They wowed the crowd last time and will again. We are offering a coupon to reward update readers so go to the calendar page and print one off to save a couple bucks on admission. This is a “Barn” certified A-1 group, don’t miss the party. If you know anyone who remembers the 90’s tell them the last musically active Pure Country member is in the band (Kelly Cordal). Just be prepared to hear stories about how great Pure Country was, that everything was better in the “old days”, and that nobody does “Crazy Train” better then Kelly. Maybe Smeby turned into a return run for one of our “previous regulars” when Nick (05 Crookston grad) showed up to relive his youth. Well not exactly, this time instead of being in search of a dance partner he was accompanied by his fiancé, atta boy Nick you done good. Becky and I did notice he was wearing a “Barn Bash 07” t-shirt from Little Falls, a satellite barn operation operated by “Waldo” (Dustin) another Crookston grad that has dropped us from his guest list. He also is in love and getting married, in October rumor has it.
Barn T-shirt sales have been brisk but we still will be giving away free ones Sept 28 to the first three people to go to the lunch counter and tell Becky the answer to this question, “What is a loo”. If you don’t know look up “water closet”. We over heard this conversation at Menard’s, “Ole: I need some boards there, Sven.
Sven: How long you want’em, Ole?
Ole: Long time. I’m building a house, ya know.
See Ya, Brian and Becky J
Dance Update, 9/10/07
October Road is a multi-talented band. They brought us a great crowd for our debut dance this fall, entertained and played their hearts out all night. The unexpected skill they showed us was herding. As I was walking out to the Barn to help them unload Friday I noticed two band members running full speed from behind the Barn. Arm waving and sudden direction changes brought me to conclude “Pig Escape”. Three weaning pigs were enjoining their first taste of freedom and were not convinced they should return to the herd in the pen. By the time I got there to assist the boys in the band had captured two fugitives and I assisted with the last one. Small town values like pitching in and doing whatever is needed to help is why we still like each other out here on the plains. October Road are not only one of the best bands around but also good people, go out and support them when they play in your area.
Are you ready for some kick ass country? Avalanche is back this Friday, Sept. 14 and we are excited. They have been fan favorites here since 1999 and this year will be no different. If you have kept up on the news you might have heard they have changed some personnel. Todd said he was going to concentrate on work and family (words rarely uttered by drummers) and Liz and Martin decided to move on to other things. In “Olde England” they had a phrase for situations like this “The King is dead, Long live the King”. Kevin, Brad, and Nick did their own talent search, no need for Randy, Paula, and Simon, and are pleased to report the band is alive and well and they are happy to be joined by Lucy, Kacie, and Jim. Go to their web-site for more on the story or better yet show up on Friday and see for yourself. We truly will miss seeing and working with the parting members but new is exciting and we are looking forward to the next chapter in the life of Avalanche. We expect a huge crowd Friday so if you don’t want to risk being denied entrance because we sell out plan on getting here early or consider buying advance tickets, instructions on the procedure are explained by clicking on the ticket link on our calendar page. To encourage you to get here early we will continue the “early bird” discount, be here BEFORE 9:15 and ASK for the “early bird” and you will be able to purchase a ticket for $5. We also enjoy giving away three Johnson’s Barn T-shirts at every dance so if you would like one be among the first three people who go to the lunch counter and tell Becky the name of any of Avalanche’s members, and that includes Mike the sound man. Grygla,MN dancers Dustin and Courtney told me to announce “Maybe Smaby” at the next dance, it would be a flash from the past. A farmer is milking his cow and as he is milking, a fly comes along and flies into the cow’s ear. A little bit later, the farmer notices the fly in the milk. The farmer says, “Hmph. In one ear, out the udder.” See Ya, Brian and Becky J
Dance Update, Aug. 23
The summer is about over and we are ready to get back to dancing. We feel we have a great lineup of bands this fall. We start out with October Road Sept. 7. We will offer a discount coupon for that night to help get the season off to a good start, be sure to print it and save. Most of you have heard October Road but for those of you who haven't you're in for a treat. They are a very upbeat Country band that puts on quite a show. Sept 14 Avalanche returns. They have been the crowd's favorite here for years and this year will not be different. They have three new members but are still a six piece Country band. Brad, Kevin, and Nick are back and Lucy, Jim, and Kacie are the new members. If you want the whole story go to their website www.avalanchecountry.com and read Brad's journal. We love to hear from you so send us your comments or questions; we answer every time and want to get to know as many dancers as possible. Remember to bring out your friends we need "Barn Virgins" every year to replace the dancers that have moved on or have found a dance partner and don't come out anymore. The first three people that come to the lunch counter Sept 7 and say to Becky "We read the Update" will be rewarded with a free Johnson's Barn t-shirt. Mark Twain and a friend were caught in the rain one day and his friend looked up at the clouds and asked "Do you think it will stop"? "It always has," replied Twain. See Ya in September, Brian and Becky Johnson
Dance Update, 5/11/07
Dance Update 4/22/07
24/Seven played for us Saturday and while it was a smaller turnout it was a good show. The people here enjoyed themselves. There was heavy rain in the area but luckily we missed most of it and our gravel yard was in reasonable good shape. No one got stuck and we didn’t find any lost shoes in the yard Sunday. “And then there was one“. Our last dance of the spring is coming up on May 11 when Avalanche returns. We will be going on our summer break or as we call it “farming season”. This will be our last dance until fall so join us and make it a great finish to one of the best seasons in the Barn’s history, thanks to you. We’ve been sold out the last two times Avalanche has been here so we expect a good crowd again, they have won your hearts because as discriminating consumers you recognize the best and there is no other way to describe those six talented musicians and Mike, the sound engineer. If you can’t be here before 11:00 consider purchasing advance tickets. You can find out how to get them on our calendar page or we do sell them here at the farm if you’re in the area. If you prefer give us a call at 701-967-8912 and we can explain the procedure. We are working on our fall line up and should have it ready by the next dance so be here to pick up one of our schedules so you can plan your fun for this fall. If you can’t wait until May Avalanche is playing at Pistol Pete’s in Moorhead this coming weekend, April 26, 27, and 28th. Becky and I plan on going, be there or be square. To quote a Country song “you can’t have too much fun” but an Avalanche show is close to the limit. The first three people who tell Becky Avalanche’s drummers name at the May 11th dance will be rewarded with a free Barn shirt and a tale of woe because we are going to miss working with Todd. We found a red cell phone after the April 13th dance and no one has claimed it. If it’s yours give us a shout. There was a reporter and photographer from the Fargo Forum at the dance Sat. so watch the paper, there should be an article on the Barn this summer. Quote of the week is another from Dorothy Parker. Gossiping about an acquaintance, Dorothy murmured in bogus admiration, “You know, she speaks eighteen languages. And she can’t say “No” in any of them.” See Ya, Brian and Becky J
Dance Update, 4/16/07
Is having the same band two weeks apart bad scheduling, absolutely not… Two shows, two sell-outs, the people have spoken. We were outside turning people away ten minutes earlier then the March 30 dance. Later we were explaining to some disappointed late-comers that the dance was sold- out and one of the would be patrons asked how can that be. I heard a voice from one of the fortunate people with a stamp behind me shout “IT’S AVALANCHE” and that explained it all. People were literally losing their shoes getting through the slop to get in the dance (it’s good that flip-flops are cheap because we found several picking up Saturday). Strong young men carried their favorite girls to the Barn; others came to find one to carry out. Conditions were muddy but no one complained, you’ve got to love plains people, we’re not whiners. We were able to let a few in after we sold out when people left early but only nice ones who waited patiently got in, see last dance’s update for how to guarantee you are left out in the cold. One sad note is that Todd (the drummer) is retiring at the end of May so we will only get to enjoy his skills one more time when they play the last dance of the spring on May 11. He is a great guy and loves the Band but after twenty years of keeping the beat is going to spend time with family (two little shavers 2 and 5 and a beautiful wife) work more and try to hunt also. Enjoy yourself Todd and maybe come back in the future and share your talent with us again. I tried to tell Todd after we were pooped from hunting pheasants last fall that he has an easy job because he was the only guy in the band that gets to bring his own chair to their shows. His answer was he might be sitting down but all four limbs are always moving, drumming burns calories. But the beat goes on, we have Avalanche booked once a month for next season and are looking forward to it. Our next dance is SATURDAY, April 21 when 24/Seven returns with their mix of Country and Rock. They want to play on Sat. because the Barn crowd wears them out and they need Sunday to rest up before they load their equipment. Be sure to go to our schedule page and print out a coupon and save two bucks on admission. We had many people answer the free T-shirt question Friday but this was the best. The rules of the game are you must tell Becky at the lunch counter the answer. Ron Kuntz our friend and webmaster (middle aged male in a cowboy hat) was talking to Becky (hot chick) behind the lunch counter when an inebriated contestant came up and said “which one of you is Becky” and as a result of being a Johnson for 24 years Becky’s first thought was to smile and point at Ron and say “he is”. The guy turned to Ron and without hesitation gave the answer to “Becky”. This week be one of the first three people to tell Becky the answer to this, “How deep should you plant corn”. The numbers are 1 to 2 you must decide if it’s inches, feet, or yards. Come up with the right distance and win a free Barn shirt. This week’s quote comes from Mark Twain, “Nothing so needs reforming as other people’s habits”. See Ya, Brian and Becky J
Dance Update, 4/2/07
Kevin Krug is a good driver but his attempts to back up the band’s trailer to our rear hayloft doors Friday were futile leaving only deep ruts for his efforts. The band members are resourceful people though and with determined effort managed to muscle their equipment up a flight of stairs. Speakers are heavy! Our gravel yard turned into dirt soup last week but plains people help each other push and nobody was left mired in the mud. One of the Cass County deputies needed a push to get his car moving at the end of the dance and for a couple pinches of Copenhagen a few cowboys got him on his way. No one was scared of the conditions though and Avalanche provided us with another sell-out crowd by a little after 11:00. We apologize to the scores of you who were turned away but we must obey the fire code. Avalanche returns April 13 so if you can’t get here early you should consider buying advance tickets to avoid being denied entrance. If you are interested in buying advance tickets go to the calendar page on our web-site and follow the instructions and buy them with a credit card or mail a check. You can always pick them up here at the farm also but call first to make sure we are here. We will do whatever we can to help you get in so be sure to call or e-mail us if you have any questions. Devon and Allison were the only ones smart enough to buy tickets ahead of time last week to ensure their group got in. We only had one guy hassle us at the door when we sold out and that was because he didn’t have a stamp. We might have eventually believed that he had paid and let him in but his buddy and him thought if they called us assholes numerous times they would convince us to let him in right away, it didn’t work this time and it never will. They promised to boycott the Barn in the future and bad-mouth us to everyone who will listen at NDSU. Que Sera, Sera, Whatever will be, will be but be assured that verbal abuse will not make a Swede obey. Becky was happy to report she gave away all the free t-shirts and everyone who got one thought she must be younger than reported. This weeks question is “What is the main ingredient in ethanol.” CORNY as that sounds you should be able to figure it out. In case you are CORN- fused ask a farmer and he should be able to help you. Be one of the first three to tell Becky the answer and win a free Barn shirt.. Thanks to all of you for being such good sports about the muddy conditions last week and let’s do all over again on April 13th when we are lucky enough to have Avalanche return to “Country the House” again. Old and young we are all on our last cruise. Live life! See Ya, Brian and Becky J
Dance Update, 3/27/07
Yousa, it was a great party. Becky had a significant birthday (the 29th anniversary of her turning 21) this month so we celebrated last Friday. Friends and family showed up in droves and the party went on until the wee hours of the morning. The music was awesome. The Post Traumatic Funk Syndrome Band made their debut at the Barn and impressed everyone. They were wonderful. A twelve piece horn band is not something you get a chance to hear often so if you missed this show check out their web-site, look at their schedule, and go hear them, you be rewarded with a special evening of music. Speaking of special music Avalanche will be back this Friday so get your boots on and lets go again. Avalanche was working at Pete’s last weekend but Brad W. took time out during a break to call Becky and wish her a happy birthday. She was so busy partying that she couldn’t get to the phone in time but appreciated the effort. Maybe this Friday Brad will be able to reach her. The T-shirt question this week is “How old is Becky” be one of the first three to tell her how old she is and you will be rewarded with a free Barn shirt. If you are smooth you will also mention that she doesn’t look it and express your disbelief. The best line of the weekend was delivered by Joanne Warner when she asked Becky if she knew what people say when you turn 50, the answer is “ YOUR OLD”. I’m the luckiest guy around because we’ve been married 24 years and she still likes me. See Ya, Brian and Becky J
Dance Update 2/27/07
Identity 5 came, they saw, and they conquered. We had numerous people come up to the lunch counter to give the band rave reviews and we listened. Kelly promised us they will return this fall. One girl was dismayed when we told her that we would get Identity 5 back this fall, she said “I can’t wait that long”. Our answer was go to their web-site and check out their schedule. They play often in this area so get out and hear them now and that way when you come to the Barn this fall word of mouth will bring more followers. We have another Barn Virgin band coming on March 23. The Post-Traumatic Funk Syndrome Band makes their debut here then and we can hardly wait. They are a 12 piece classic Rock horn band that you have to see and hear to believe. We have heard them twice at the Aquarium in Fargo and were impressed. They are amazing musicians that love performing. Three saxophones, two trumpets, a trombone, keyboard, two guitars, drums, and male and female lead singers add up to a host of sounds. The last time we saw them the bass guitar player broke a string during a song and instead of stopping for repairs Russ Peterson took off on a sax solo that was amazing. When the bass player got his string fixed he looked over at Russ and the band jumped back into the original song without missing a beat. Get out and hear this band you will love them. We are offering a coupon again so go to the schedule page and print one off to save $2 on admission. The first three people that tell Becky the bands name on March 23 will receive a free Johnson’s Barn T-shirt. The Post-Traumatic Funk Syndrome Band is a mouth full to remember but once you have heard them you will not forget them. A young boy was listening to his parents reminiscing about their honeymoon. “Papa” the child asked, “when you and Mama went on your honeymoon to Italy, where was I?” The father thought for a moment, then answered, “You went there with me and come back with your mother.” See Ya, Brian and Becky J
Dance Update, Feb. 13, 07
Cold night mixed with hot Country music adds up to a fun Barn dance. The crowd was here but everyone fit, thank God, because we did not want to stand outside to turn people away on a subzero prairie evening. The crowd was eclectic again with everybody from fancy dancing NDSU football players entertaining us on the lunch counter end of the Barn to a Grand Forks patron literally knocking walls down to get in the dance. We even had four litters of pigs born Friday resulting in a few pig tours. Avalanche enticed Mindy R. to rent a bus and bring out some Barn alumni’s and Barn Virgins to celebrate her 31st birthday. We still recognized Joel (bet on his Hillsboro, North Dakota raised race horses at the tracks this summer) and Angie even though they seem to have abandoned us for adult life. Becky came up with the best line of the night when a guy at the lunch counter stated “Boy you have a weird crowd tonight” her answer was “You’re here!” which left him speechless. Avalanche’s Brad W is never speechless and still was questioning Becky regarding clothing options. We gave away all three t-shirts even though Becky was strict and would not repeat the question for some guys that wanted to win but did not remember the question. We try to make it easy but you must read the update and have enough short term memory to tell Becky the answer. Feb 23 dance’s question is “Who’s buried in Grant’s tomb” be one of the first three to tell Becky the answer and receive a free Barn shirt. Hint; he was the 18th president of the US. Identity 5 will be the band on the 23rd which will reunite us with our roots when former Pure Country member Kelly Cordahl and band mates make their debut performance at the Barn. They mix it up with Country and rock, get out and enjoy their performance. We are offering a discount coupon that night to get them off to a good start so print it off of our coupon page and save $2 on admission. Kelly used to end the night with an electrifying version of Crazy Train in the Pure Country days, maybe history will repeat itself. This week’s quote is another from Winston Churchill, as a young man Churchill sported a mustache. At a smart dinner he fell into argument with a grand dowager who, thinking to quell him snapped, “Young man, I care for neither your politics nor your mustache.” “Madam,” responded Churchill, “you are unlikely to come into contact with either.” See Ya, Brian and Becky J
Dance Update, Jan. 30, 07
Uff Da Feda, what a crowd. Avalanche did it again which means we sold out!! The band was so wore out from the high intensity show that during tear down at